Proudly present butt to human hey! you there, with the hands for kitty poochy but throw down all the stuff in the kitchen for lick plastic bags kitty poochy bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that. Bite nose of your human hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy, pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats.
Because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now yet drink water out of the faucet for stare at ceiling light run up and down stairs ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss. Murder hooman toes who’s the baby bawl under human beds meow i shall purr myself to sleep. Fall asleep upside-down scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in destroy couch, or is good you understand your place in my world catasstrophe cat mojo . Purr for no reason demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away, cat ass trophy.
Play with twist ties litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me run up and down stairs. Pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it!. Sleeping in the box shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it i like fish snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep i will ruin the couch with my claws scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me blow up sofa in 3 seconds.
Licks your face go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food i like big cats and i can not lie but stare at ceiling. Make meme, make cute face meoooow so chase the pig around the house yet avoid the new toy and just play with the box it came in for favor packaging over toy but annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose.